Surprisingly, if you watch the show its hard not to agree with him. The Prince of Darkness really is just a sweet old guy. Well, sure he gets annoyed. A stream of F-bombs inevitably ensues if his dogs piss all over the rug or if he can't get his microwave burrito bag open. But other than that, Ozzy, shuffling around his mansion in his black tear-away pants, hair hanging in his face and tattooed hands held gingerly in front of him, really seems genuine, affable and just generally nice.

The nice, sober, 60-year-old Ozzy is the man behind this latest record. Along with a (sigh) drug-free Ozzy are some of the most talented musicians in Metal: with White Zombie's Rob "Blasko" Nicholson is Zack Wylde, guitarist on Ozzy's smash 1995 record No More Tears; Robert Trujillo is on bass; and Mike Bordin is back on drums.

His first record with original material since the lukewarm, Down To Earth in 2001, Ozzy's Black Rain retreads the same song frameworks and genres as his previous records: tearful rock power ballads, riff-driven Metal fist pumpers, the chorus-driven radio single, some filler and a second tearful power ballad.

But why give Ozzy a bad review. It's Ozzy. He's 60. Do you like Ozzy? Why are we talking about his songs? He's not a musician, he's an institution. Like U2, AC/DC, Barbara Streisand or the Rolling Stones. This is an Ozzy record. It sounds like Ozzy Osbourne. You know what that sounds like. If you like that, go buy it or download it or something.

Did you know Ozzy once snorted a line of ants while on tour with Motley Crue? (ants!)

* * *

R. Kelly - Double Up He who likes to show his admiration for his underage female fans with golden showers is back with a new dose of soulful R&B.  Double Up, R.'s eighth studio album, gives something more than just songs to hit skins to.  Kelly includes a tribute song to the victims of the April massacre at Virginia Tech.  The track is called "Rise Up," and according to his label, Kelly wrote the song in his tour bus after being moved by the television coverage of the shootings.  Those who think R.'s gone soft with a charity song, don't you worry.  Other track titles on Double Up appear to touch on those classic R. Kelly themes: "Tryin' to Get a Number," "Freaky in the Club," "I'm a Flirt," "Sex Planet," and my personal favorite, "I Like Love."  I know you do R.

Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long If last Tuesday, you heard an inordinate number of "oh my gods" coming from teenaged girls' mouths, now you know why.  Because, oh my god, it's been like 5 years since this prep-school pop group cut an album.  Maroon 5's 2002 Songs About Jane went platinum in 9 countries and sold 8 million worldwide and propelled the quintet to the pinnacle of the bubblegum, radio, heard it on the OC, kiddy-rock genre.  It Won't Be Soon Before Long promises to bring a more electric and "retro" feel to Maroon 5's sophomore album.  Lead singer Adam Levine says you can dance to it.  No thanks.

Beach Boys - The Warmth of the Sun As long as there are surfers in the ocean and bikini-clad babes on the sand, the Beach Boys will still continue to sell albums. The fathers of surf rock release The Warmth of the Sun, the follow-up anthology to 2004's double-platinum Sounds of Summer, a greatest hits collection with all the songs that mom and dad like to sing in the car.  In contrast, The Warmth of the Sun includes 28 tracks that didn't make it onto the cream of the Beach Boys' crop.  All the songs on Warmth were sequenced by the Beach Boys themselves and round out a catalogue that helped to define American music.

KRS-One and Marley Marl - Hip-Hop Lives Hip-Hop Lives symbolizes the "squashing" of one of the most historic hip-hop feuds of all time.  Back in 1985, KRS-One and producer Marley Marl initiated the Bronx-Queens hip-hop rivalry that lives on today in New York.  KRS-One, the legendary MC of Boogie Down Productions, reached out to Marl, producer for LL Cool J, Eric B. and Rakim and TLC, last year to produce tracks for a new joint album that would defy the prevalent belief that hip-hop is dead.  The first single is "Kill A Rapper," a criticism of the unsolved murders of Biggie and Tupac.

Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future It seems that hype within the music industry develops earlier and earlier. Consider the case of UK group Klaxons who were featured on the cover of NME a whole three months before their debut album even hit record store shelves. At the time of attaining the coveted cover spot on the UK music bible the group had existed as a band for less than a year, and had released only one EP to go along with the countless remixes of their songs floating around on the Internet. It would seem that the case of Klaxons can also be cited for revealing the limited number of responses people use to approach highly touted next big things: 1) Unquestionably buy in (dumb idea) 2) Backlash (dumber idea) 3) Buy in initially only to backlash a few months later all the while claiming 'you were there' from the start (dumbest idea) 4) Thank Ms. Hype for the kind tip, then go hide in the corner alone with a set of headphones and decide for yourself (good idea, no?). And indeed the Klaxons seem to be experiencing all the potential responses. But the Klaxons are a band to take note of, and Myths of the Near Future is indeed a worthy and memorable endeavor that is likely to be one of 2007's best releases. Despite the bands short existence the growth between their EP Xan Valleys and Myths is quite remarkable. If you've never heard Klaxons, picture a more daring version of Bloc Party with not one but three Justin Timberlake's providing the vocals. Intrigued? Take the risk, because the rewards are indeed great.  -Brendan Moore

The National - Boxer As part of the new wave of Indie rock bands rediscovering the instrumentation and collectivity of roots rock and folk music, The National are increasingly receiving mainstream attention for their unique song arrangements and the heartbreakingly cavalier lyrics of front man, Matt Berninger. Lyrics are such an integral part to the creation of mood for The National that critics often trace out and cite overtones of authors Raymond Carver and Charles Bukowski in their character. Boxer is the third release from the Ohio-by-New York quintet and in terms of songwriting, The Nation falls somewhere between tour-mates Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah! and The Hold Steady. Their third release, Boxer, is a more somber and Leonard Cohen-ish outing for the band both lyrically and instrumentally, but should have a long shelf life as many of the tracks are deceptively complex and warrant much revisiting.

Perry Farrell's Satellite Party - Ultra Payloaded Perry Farrell's Satellite Party? As a Jane's Addiction fan and an avid historian of Jewish rock stars, I think it's time that someone slap Perry in the face and tell the 48 year-old that the "party" is over.  You're almost 50, man.  Organize the Lollapalooza shows and fade away gracefully.  Ultra Payloaded, the debut album from Farrell's new group, features cameos from John Frusciante, Flea, Jack Irons, Thievery Corporation and even a pre-recorded Jim Morrison appearance on the track "Women in the Window."  Don't forget, Satellite Party's guitarist is none other than former Extreme guitarist Nuno Bettencourt.  More interesting than anything having to do with this album is that Perry was born Peretz Bernstein in Queens.

Tim Armstrong - A Poet's Life Released intermittently over the Internet for free download, the debut solo record from the front man of the Operation Ivy, Rancid and The Transplants was intended as a "thank you" to long time fans of Armstrong's sometimes brilliant, sometimes awful musical manifestations. The record sees Armstrong rehashing his particular hybrid of Punk, Two Tone, and Reggae but belies an ear towards the danceable, Mod rock beats that are oh so vogue these days. The CD also comes with a DVD that has videos for each song. Although difficult to justify all his decisions (whoa, Skye Sweetnam sings on "Into Action"), the record would be welcome to avid fans of the singular songwriting and performance techniques of Armstrong.

LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver The best thing about LCD Soundsystem's self-titled debut album was the bonus disc included that collected all the material from their previously released 7-inches. Not to say that the album didn't offer a few stellar additions to the groups outstanding catalogue; it was just that the duo's ventures into newer territories (i.e. the 'slow' song) often resulted in material of a lesser quality. That being said, their new album Sound of Silver is possibly the best release of 2007 thus far, and that's saying something. The duo has pulled off the rare feat of producing an album that is more experimental and at the same time more focused and refined. Sound of Silver is loaded with the group's trademark indie-rock/meets synth-driven club bangers, but this time they proven that even when they slow things down, they know the electronic genre as well if not better than anyone else in the game.  -Brendan Moore

-Small Swords Staff


BACK TO MAIN